In
about the 10th grade, I started drinking and smoking weed. After
that, I started selling drugs in high school. Oh, by the way,
my father is a Baptist minister and my mother was a substance
abuse counselor. I went against everything my parents had taught
me growing up. I stopped playing ball, and I stopped going to
church. I turned my will and my life over to the streets. I
sold drugs and transported drugs from New York to Richmond for
years. Then, I started selling guns in New York—a no gun
state. Lord have mercy. On my way home, a New Jersey state police
officer stopped the car I was riding in and checked each one
of us in the car. One by one, he asked each of us where we were
coming from. We all had different stories. Then all four of
us were in the back of a police car. When the police searched
the car, he found the drugs, and placed all of us under arrest
for drug offences. The worst thing happened—a fight broke
out between the officer and myself. We all went to Jail in Burlington
County, New Jersey.
I tried to stop using so many times, so many ways, but this
time, I stayed in jail for four months. Every other time, my
mother and father would get me out of jail and get a good lawyer
for me. This time was different. My bond was so high that they
could not get me out. So, I stayed and prayed to the God I knew
could do anything but fail. In my darkest days and nights, God
still blessed me. He blessed me over and over again. Well, after
my bond was reduced to a price my parents could afford, with
the help of Riverview Baptist Church and my Pastor, I got out
on bond. God had blessed me one more time.
After
three days home, my mind told me to just do it all differently.
So, I went back to New York doing the same things—selling
guns and drugs. I was a sick person. My youngest brother told
me that I was going to end up in jail for life. And I still
wasn’t through with the case in New Jersey. I thought
about what he said. That was the end of New York for me. I
heard his message. I went back to church and got with a guy
I did not know. We went to church every night. I did not like
this at all, but I was so tired of hurting my parents and
costing them. At this point, I guess, I had hit my bottom.
I would go to church, but I was still using. Remember, I still
had this Court case over my head—possession with intent,
resisting arrest, assault on a police officer and some more
stuff. I knew I was going back to finish my time.
After going to church every night, I still needed more. God
sent a man to me on the job I was working on. He started working
there and he would leave every day and go to a 12 step program—AA
and NA. One day he told me, without asking me anything about
myself, “Young blood you don’t have to live like
that.” I started going with him to AA and NA every day.
By God’s Grace and with the church and the new people
in my life, I stopped using by the time I went to Court.
One Sunday, an older deacon got up in Sunday school and said
“Our brother will be going to Court this week, and we
want him to know that we are with him.” He said God had
spoken to him, and God wanted everybody from prayer service
on Wednesdays and Sunday School class to write something short
for the Court on the church bulletin or any piece of paper
they had at the time. He prayed over the pieces of paper and
put the notes in an envelope and sent it to my lawyer. My
lawyer gave the big yellow envelope to the Judge. The notes
told how much they loved me, how they hoped that he would
please find it in his heart to spare my life and give me another
chance. The judge read some of the notes out in Court. Then
he said, “You better not let these people down. If you
do, you better hope you don’t come by me!!! Keep the
peace, be on good behavior and stay clean. Keep doing what
you are doing. You can go.” I almost passed out in the
Court room. I knew God loved me.
That’s
been 13 years ago. I have been drug free for 13 years. I’ve
been a Deacon at that same church—Riverview Baptist Church
for about six years. I am on the bus ministry. I work for
the church. I’ll do anything for my church! God has blessed
me SO MUCH. I can go on and on. My wife and I reunited. I
started my lawn service-Lucky’s Lawn Care Service. My
prayer and hope is that if I can help somebody then my living
has not been in vain. The other thing is this…the only
way I can keep what I have is by giving it away today. I am
on the battlefield for my Lord, just as He was on the battlefield
for me. One thing I know is that there is a God and I am not
it. My testimony is…if I can do it….any one can.
[Deacon Cornell Roane has been a member of the governing board
of Exodus Foundation.org since 2002]
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